#THMNuggets0818 Day 22: Be The Change You Want To See

Gandhi said we should all be the change we want to see in the world, this is potent and still relevant today - but I go further and say we should be the change we want to see in anything (world, situations, relationships….) as long as you are not putting your life at risk.

If you 'deep' it, it's basically talking about behavioural change when it comes to our responsibilities.

Practical example, so I am not sure if I am the only one with an amazing mother, some of you might use the word annoying instead, but mine is amazing! God bless mothers.

So we never really got on because she nags a lot, I naturally do not get with anyone that nags! Now imagine living with someone that nags all the time, my mum always had something to complain about it is unbelievable. Petty things like the colour you are wearing (she is not a fan of red or black, my spiritual friends will know the reason already). I didn’t have the patience so I will react, which left me stressed/angry most times.

It became unbearable so I moved out, when I moved out I was so unlucky the guy I moved in with was worse than my mother, I will take my mother’s nagging a million times. Nice guy though, my mum nagged about things that affected me directly, he nagged about everything - he nagged about his mother, his father, his siblings, his boss and work colleagues, his baby's mother, the neighbours, the security guy downstairs, nagged about the government (I get this) and also nagged about himself! I had never met a boy like him in my life.

I learnt my lesson, I was living in a house rent free and couldn't deal, I then moved out to pay rent to hear someone nag about everything you could think of. He drained me physically, spiritually, emotionally....... Noone advised me to move back home, when I moved back I had to change and not react to my mother, I just listened to whatever she had to say and gradually our relationship got better, these days we are best buddies, her nagging seems to have reduced too, but I had to change for her to change. I used to say to her you need to change mum but until I changed nothing changed.

#THMNuggets0818 Day 21: Are You Currently Giving Your Best Where You Are?

If whatever you are doing now isn’t IT, it is most likely what will lead you to what IT is.

Before you get to IT you need to cultivate the habit of giving your best in everything you are involved in or else you might find it difficult to manage IT when it finally comes into fruition.

IT could be that dream job, that spouse you have fasted and prayed for, that business idea, that promotion….

The bible even goes further and says

And if you have not been faithful in the use of that [earthly wealth] which belongs to another [whether God or man and of which you are a trustee], who will give you that which is your own? Luke 16:12. AMP

This verse is self-explanatory and validates the title, you will only get given what you want or what you deserve if you are diligent where you are now, and this is regardless of whether the conditions are favourable or not, my boss is horrible is not an excuse.

I’m not sure I know that many people that like their bosses we all just manage them and do what is expected and more which is what people see and gets you recognised for the next level.

Anywhere we find ourselves serving we should always give our best, we know when we are giving our best and when we are not doing what is required of us. Your working hours are between 9-5 but you spend half of the total hours on WhatsApp/social media, then complain you are not getting the opportunities. Even when no one sees you God definitely does sees you and he is the one that rewards us all accordingly.

Not giving our best means we are delaying our IT, so start giving your best and unlock IT faster.

#THMNuggets0818 Day 20: Die Daily

No matter how much potential the seed has, the seed remains a seed until it dies. Many people are in relationships but have refused to die to themselves. The people in it are not dead to their arrogance, stubbornness, pride; everybody wants to prove a point talking back at each other.

We are all like seeds, to start the process of blossoming the seed needs to die, after the seed dies we see roots and then germination which leads to fruiting and then harvest. We see people in the harvest stage and we get jealous and wish that was us but we still have our own philosophies, there is nothing wrong with having our own philosophies (knowing), but when it is not working you need to throw those philosophies out of the window.

Since the seed needs to die for everyone to see the harvest (Fruits), it means death produces life, die to everything that hasn’t worked so far, all your bad habits - you know them, do a self check as often as you can, write them down, let them die and look forward to your fruits - Harvest!

#THMNuggets0818 Day 19: Sometimes ‘I Do Not Know’: You Don’t Always Have To Have The Answer

So, over the last 12 months, I have started to say ‘I do not know’ when I actually do not have an idea, I am quick to say Yes, so even without knowing what the task is, I have already said yes maybe because I always have a positive and it will happen attitude.

I naturally always want to help people even when I do not have the answer, I will volunteer easily because I have a heart of service, give myself up to tasks that I have no clue on. Which is fine, but I think I do myself more harm in the long run with this approach. Most times, because I do not want to make a mess of the task at hand I end up using up/wasting a lot of resources – time, money and energy to get the job done.

Other times I have ended up making an absolute mess of the task, making myself look stupid, incompetent, all talk and a time waster, all I had to say was ‘I do not know’ and I would have saved myself the embarrassment and still have my points intact but when I make a mess of everything I lose points. Another thing is, I barely have time to focus on my own projects because I have taking on so much and spread myself really thin by trying help others.

Thinking about it now I am also lying/ being deceitful, because I actually do not know but I am pretending like I do just because I want to help.

Saying ‘I do not know’ also saves the other party not just me because that way they can find someone else, rather than thinking I have this all sorted and it is in capable hands

It is humbling to say ‘I do not know’, I only just realised that is actually no harm in me saying it too, if you are like me and you really want to help you can always tell people I can try find someone who is in a better position to help, at the end of the day you are not Jesus, we can only try and be like him.

#THMNuggets0818 Day 18: The Second ‘How Are You’

My friend called me annoying for this, I remember she even once said she was going to block me soon #EmptyThreats lol. I learnt this from my church leader - Uche Ezichi.


He would usually say “Tobi, How are you? You good?” And default answer for anyone is usually I’m good, I’m fine thanks - if they are nice enough they will ask you how you are too.


The 2nd How are you is the REAL how are you. The concept of the 2nd How are you is since the default answer of the 1st is I’m fine thanks, the 2nd How are you comes with emphasis as in how really are you.


Most times when you ask this 2nd How are you that’s when you really know how the person is if they are actually fine or ‘’fine’ and life is happening, don’t be fool by the way we dress, people are going through life and it’s deep, don’t assume because they are all smiley smiley everything is well, life is really happening to people and at times people are just looking for someone to talk to to encourage them to be there for them.


So, when you can always ask the second ‘how are you’, it might save a life.


#THMNuggets0818 Day 17: Seek Counsel

You do not know it all, I know we live in a generation of let me make my own mistakes and learn but trust nothing is new, you are not the first to experience whatever you are going through, speaking to someone saves you time, energy, hurt, pain and money in some cases.


The final decision is yours, you can always hid to the advice or not but there is wisdom in always seeking counsel, have the opinion of others at least especially life decisions especially, I always seek counsel. It shouldn’t just be from your parents or close friends,they might struggle to tell you the truth at times, and that is the truth.


I have different types of relationships with people I seek counsel from, some are older, some are mates and some are younger! Also, I have creatively formed friendship with some people that are not necessarily in my circle, so I have access to them but on a personal level I am not that close to them, so at times I cheekily make up scenarios when I want to seek advice from them - ‘asking for a friend’.


I also have people I am accountable too, these people have my best interest at heart - they have been carefully selected I do not hide anything from them, if you do not have anyone you are accountable to that will be a starting point.